Reunions

Well, the process of grieving for my Mamaw is certainly ongoing. Each day, I think of a memory of her or try to fathom what she may be doing right now. I can't begin to express the amount of time I have spent looking at my own life. One question keeps coming to my mind. "Am I making her proud?" I so desire to pass on the things she taught me, knowing that is what she would want. I found her Bible the other day while we were at her house. I remember that same Bible from going to church with her and Papaw as a small child. Almost every word is underlined or highlighted! One thing is for sure....she was a student of the Word. I want to emulate her in that. I want to know His Word, and I want it to transform my life daily. She did not just read it...she lived it. Many think there is more than "one way" or "one truth." Not so. Christ alone is the way, the truth and the life. She knew that. She believed it. She proclaimed it to all she came in contact with. She did not just speak it....her faith was not just words to her. She did not pick and choose what to believe and what to follow. She surrendered wholly to Him. Her life was not her own. It was His. She was His mouthpiece with which to spread the good new of the Gospel. Was she perfect. No. But she is now! :) AMEN!

So, one reunion has taken place, for sure. Mamaw has seen her Savior face to face. WOW! I get chill bumps just thinking of it. There are not really words. I know she anticipated meeting him while she was here on earth. I know she could not wait to see his face and express her, well, honestly, I don't know what you would be expressing....probably the awe of seeing Him would be so great, no words would be needed. My heart can only believe that they have had a time of reuniting and hugs, and that she has had a joyous reunion with her siblings, parents and other loved ones that she has missed for so long. Ahh, the joy she must be experiencing, and the bliss that must be hers. I miss her....tears come....

I don't think she is sad for us. How can she be? She is dancing, singing, running. There is no illness to slow her down, no pain to cause a grimace on her face. And, I bet she is eating all the most magnificent foods. Not even giving a thought to carbs, sugar or insulin shots! She is in a most glorified body....a perfect body! I think if she could communicate one thing to us it would be this......"HURRY UP! Get up here and enjoy this glorious place with me. His presence is amazing....you have to get here!" I believe the other thought she would share would be this: "Don't spend another minute living life for yourself. Surrender. Give Him your heart, your life...TODAY! There is too much to miss out on not to. Besides, I want you here with me forever."

The first true realization that came to me after Mamaw died was this: I have never longed for Heaven....until now. I have never really lost anyone close to me. Mamaw is the first grandparent that has died. I remember on the way to Denver for her funeral, I remember looking up at the sky on I-40. Tears streamed down my face as I looked up into the blue sky. The sky, and the heavens, took on a whole new meaning. There was someone in Heaven now that I knew and loved. I've always longed to see my Savior there, but now, Mamaw was there. Now there was suddenly a longing for Heaven that had not been there before.

Now, I simply keep running the race set before me. He is the author and finisher of my faith, just as for Mamaw. I will run the race before me with excellence and purpose. Living out HIS purpose for me. I will pass on the truth to my boys that she passed to me. I will tell them every story I can recall about their Mamaw. I pray they receive the same truth she and I did. She finished her race. Now she is just waiting at the finish line....for me! And for all of her family that has surrendered their lives to Christ. My prayer is that all those she loves will be at that reunion at the finish line! You know, nothing made her happier than when ALL of her her family was together! Until we are all together again...